


Her Burden to Bear.

by NikoNikoBangBang



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2724563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikoNikoBangBang/pseuds/NikoNikoBangBang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Why do I only write when I'm drunk or at work?</p>
    </blockquote>





	Her Burden to Bear.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I only write when I'm drunk or at work?

Freya pulled herself out of bed. The stark air that permeated from the stone walls chilled her to the bone, but she didn’t have the heart to take the blanket from the Qunari who lay sleeping on the makeshift bed. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as if trying to try keep the last of her body heat from slipping away and quietly made her way across the cold stone floor. The dampness of the lake seemed to sink itself into every crack and corner of the old Caer. Every step she took sent shivers through her body, freezing her blood. She made her way to the balcony, lighting the clusters of candles as she went. Even their soft light couldn’t bring warmth to the old stones. 

She stood on the balcony, looking down at the lake. It looked angry. Dark gray and swirling like a storm. Reflecting the rift that sat over it. The way the eerie green light moved across the sky was breathtaking. The rift itself would have been gorgeous, Freya thought, if it wasn’t spewing out darkspawn by the dozens. She had hoped to be able to close it when they had gotten here today, but clearing out the Caer had been more of a chore than they originally thought it would be. By the time they had killed all the bandits, they had all been too worn out to try and navigate through the tunnels only to fight more dark spawn. They needed to do it soon, she thought. They had already told the townspeople they would take care of it, but she had been in such a rush to help Hawke and the Wardens that she had put it off when she first arrived in Crestwood. Now coming back she realized exactly how bad it was.

 

The wind picked up suddenly, whipping her long hair around violently and nipping at her naked form. She sighed there was no point worrying about it now. They had already said they were doing it first thing tomorrow. Besides, if Dorian didn’t get his beauty sleep he would probably kill all of the before the darkspawn and undead even got a chance to try. 

“Come back to bed, you are going to get sick standing out here like this.” She heard from behind her, followed by the feeling of large arms wrapping around her waist, holding a blanket over the both, of them shielding them from the cold. “and it’s not going to be any fun closing that rift sick”.

 

She responded with silence. “well for you’re going to be like that I could always make you come...” he growled into ear. Sliding his hands up stomach to her breasts, roughly groping them. The warmth that shot her made her moan. She moved closer towards him. 

“I’m sorry” she said finally “ I can’t sleep. I just have so much on my mind…”

“Like what?” he asked, Lazily running his fingers through her long ginger hair. 

“Do you really want to listen or are you just saying that?” she retorted “cause I know you and I know you aren’t too big on feelings…”

“I don’t like talking about my own feelings” he grumbled “But you, your feelings, that’s different. If you need to talk I’m here, Kadan. “

 

Freya heaved a sigh “I don’t know. I’m just...” Bull stayed silent. Giving her time to find the words that eluded her. “I always saw my life going differently. Before all of this I was just going through the motions. I figured I would serve the chantry for as long as I was needed before I was called back to Ostwick and married off to some noble to strengthen my family’s influence. It wasn’t a perfect plan, and it was far from what I wanted but I didn’t really have any other ideas. After the thing that happened in the fade…. ” she trailed off and he heard her choke back tears.

“Seeing things I forgot, or rather had taken from me” Freya paused again, turning her green eyes toward him. She looked lost, scared. He wanted to say something, anything, but he had never had a way with words, so he just held her tighter. She looked back out at the stormy sky. He followed her gaze. The rife in the sky was menacing. It looked as if it was threatening to swallow Crestwood whole. 

“That’s still so strange to me.” she continued “That they were my memories and they could just be taken. I had just thought I pushed them away,chose not to remember. But, I guess not. That almost would have been more comforting than knowing there was some demon would could take my memories and use them against me. It’s terrifying to think that that something could come and change me like that. I couldn’t even remember.”

“Fuck demons”. he nodded in agreement. Freya let out a curt laugh and squeezed the arm he had placed across her chest.

“I feel like I’m running, and running, and trying to keep up with all everyone else. Cullen has plan, Cassandra has a plan, and so does Leliana, and Josie, and Solas. I’m just here. I have no clue what I’m doing. Everytime I make a decision I pray to the Maker that it’s the right one and that I’m not fucking everyone over even more. Since the only thing that qualifies me to lead this inquisition is this…” she spat out the last bit. Turning her hand in disgust. Bull felt a heat rise up in his chest “

That’s crap and you know that’s not true.” he almost shouted. This caused her to jump slightly. He gave her hair a few reassuring strokes. “It’s not the anchor that makes you a good leader, and it certainly isn’t the anchor that makes them see you as one. You made those decisions when everyone else was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. You fought and you survived.” 

She started to tremble tears pouring down her cheeks. “maybe.” she replied. Her voice barely a whisper. “but it certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

“Kadan…” he cupped her chin in his hand and turned her face up towards his, and before she could protest kissed her deeply. She squirmed a little under the unexpected tenderness of his touch, before collapsing into his embrace and kissing him back. She stood on the tips of her toes to throw her arms around his neck. He could still taste the fear in her kisses, and he wanted so badly to take it from her. But he knew the rift was her burden to bear. The best he could do was make sure she wasn't alone. 

When they finally broke apart, she was shaking less. He wiped the last of the salty tears from her pale cheeks and smiled warmly at her before sweeping her up in to his arms. “lets go to bed” he purred in to her ear carrying her through the doorway.


End file.
